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In order to fit in with the general ethos of the website I have invented a wife.
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Romeo and Juliet it is not. It's more like Alan Sugar interviewing an apprentice. But she is an old hand at this type of encounter and tells me she's met many men through the site, and that I was probably the only one who hadn't lied about my age. After discussing how mundane marriages become and avoiding questions about my personal life, it's clear we're past our sell-by date after ten minutes, never mind ten years. There is zero chemistry. She doesn't want to discuss her husband, and I feel uneasy talking to her. Despite this, she still seems keen to flirt with me. In the end, we agree to part and she wishes me luck and assures me I'll find the perfect paramour.
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Blonde, slim and relaxed, she has already told me by email that she's been married for ten years, has young children, time on her hands and wants to add a frisson of excitement to her life. We meet at a restaurant in central London, and I am waiting at the table when she arrives. I stand up and we kiss on the cheek. She tells me without blinking that she has had one affair with a family friend and, although it didn't end badly, her appetite for adultery remains undimmed. We spend an afternoon over lunch with a bottle of wine, and it's clear she is a relatively sophisticated woman. Though she declines to tell me what she does, she is evidently well informed and intelligent.
It's easy to forget she's married, and the ring on her finger is the only reminder. Jane tells me she was attracted to me because she had been put off by the directness of the other men who've contacted her - she gets hundreds of messages a week. At the end of our lunch, she tells me she'd like to see me again. I say I have to go, and she tells me she's sorry we have to leave it there. She then fixes me with a gaze and says she wishes we could go elsewhere. I find myself thinking that if we did go to a hotel, if we undressed and went to bed, she would still return to her husband and children and the life she seems to find so unsatisfactory.
How bleak and depressing. That night I'm back in front of the computer looking for my next date. So many women are eager to tell me they're "stuck in a rut" or "want someone to make them feel alive again". I find it amazing how many of them are willing to meet me after exchanging only a few messages. I could be a serial killer and they would be none the wiser.
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Check out Zoosk Still looking to for more options to help you find no-strings-attached sex? Click below to see our 10 picks for the top hookup sites online. AskMen may receive a portion of revenue if you click a link in this article and buy a product or service.